Operation: OHR Presents:

The Wandering Hamster Story

By Pepsi Ranger

Every legend has its beginning. Every beginning has its story. Every story has its hero. And every hero has his legacy. One such legacy began with a hamster. His name is Bob.

The legacy of Bob the Hamster began with a dream. Unlike most children who were conceived by two parents, Bob’s life began with the conception of an idea. This idea was to help others give birth to their dreams, and hence give Bob about four hundred playmates to fellowship with. The dream was perfect, and for Bob, it was a fantasy come true.

Bob’s future was set before he himself knew what was ahead. But, he knew that whatever was coming was going to be great. For Bob, the future was something to brag over.

The future would make him into a computer star.

Once his existence started, Bob quickly rose through the ranks of his talents. Soon, he was no longer the infant hamster that everyone wanted to pinch in the cheeks. He was no longer just a name in the archives for hapless wanderers to stumble across. His legacy was no longer limited to a small website in the back alleys of the information highway. Bob had made the jump to the big time. And this was his dream come true. His republic had been born.

Bob’s popularity went from potential to kinetic virtually overnight. Soon after, his place in the world shifted. The life that he immediately embarked on included stints as an explorer, a philosopher, and a role model. His legacy would be monitored by many. His fame took off like a rocket.

Pretty soon, Bob’s fame escalated him to the point of pop culture mega star. The once humble hamster was no longer just a figment of the imagination. His spokesmanship for the Hamster Republic was no longer just a job. He had become the king of the website one-liners. But, his creator and long time travel companion had some opinions about his new on-line standings.

But, as Bob soon discovered, all beginnings are merely foundations. For Bob, the Hamster Republic website was just a foundation.

What followed became Bob’s greatest dream. He had become his own main character in a game called "Wandering Hamster." This was the game that defined him as a hero.

But Bob knew that he had something special going on. His heroism was about more than fighting evil. His position as a wanderer and explorer meant something more than just wandering and exploring. To him, such a development in character growth meant bigger praise and bigger fame. To Bob, his tower could not be toppled.

But fame did not come without its price. The bigger that his name got, the bigger came his need to escape from it all.

Bob was in fact hiding a huge secret. His need to escape from reality transformed into an addiction that rocked his pedestal to catastrophic levels. Even though he wouldn’t admit it at first, he soon realized his addictions were heading out of control. Bob in fact had a problem with plip-bashing.

The problem first began with an expectation to fight any and all creatures that stood in his way. According to Bob, the desire to attack something that threatened to attack back was too great to ignore. And this was the vicious cycle that caught him. He had found after many consecutive plip beatings that he actually enjoyed it.

His addiction to plip-bashing grew worse and worse over the duration of his stardom. Pretty soon he started lashing out on stuffed cat heads and innocent little mountain trolls. His love to dish out pain became frowned upon by his travel companions.

And that was only the beginning. His travel companions didn’t know how to talk to him. All they could do was drop little hints that something was wrong. But nothing seemed to register. Bob had fallen into a pit of his own madness.

Bob had nowhere left to go but up. His quest had led him through many places, but all he really wanted was to go back to being a website role model.

And so his adventure was cut short in favor of a much-needed healing process. He therefore returned to his place as the head spokesperson for the Hamster Republic.

Bob the Hamster still wonders what his life could’ve been like had he not had such a heavy weight of fame fall against him. But for now he is happy to be out of the quest and back into the world of the living.

But time is something that Bob has always had. It’s his legacy that ticks day after day and his adventure that so many want to see him finish. For Bob, fame is a desire, but it’s also something that’s just been handed to him.

The future of Bob the Hamster is a work-in-progress indeed, but Bob is optimistic. He has since announced the consecutive releases of new game construction engine updates, as well as serve as the figurehead for his own help-me message board. Even though his recovery from plip-bashing has been a slow road, he knows that one day he will be clean and sober completely, and will eventually become the spokesperson for such organizations as Plip-Bashers Anonymous and Hamsters Against Plip-Bashing and Driving (H.A.PB.D). But, until that future arrives, Bob vows to stay faithful to his duties as a Hamster Republic mega star.

Whatever perspectives Bob may carry from this day forward, he will still dream, and he will still do what he can to give the public what they want. To him, this is a rush that’s greater than fame. This is his hamster legacy.

END CREDITS:

And a very special thanks goes out to all members of the OHR Community. This couldn’t have been done without you. Or at least it wouldn’t have been as fun.

All plip action was monitored by the National Humane Organization. No plips were harmed in the making of this documentary. Except for the ones that Bob got a hold of.

Next Episode:

"The Monterey Penguin Story"

©2001

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